6T’s Weekender - 2009

Here we are again... yet another year had passed and the 6ts soul weekender was upon us yet again.

This, my 11th year, seemed very different from years gone by. I'm not sure if it was something to do with the planetary aspects or something in the water but weird shit was certainly going down and I didn't like it *small vulnerable girlie voice*.

I'm not going to bang on about the minus points; I just want to revel in the plus ones. However, I would like to publicly convey my absolute disgust and disbelief at the violence dished out to a fellow soulie. Inexcusable, unbelievable and very shameful. Unforgivable in my mind.

FRIDAY

Glorious weather accompanied my glorious state of mind as the cause of my excitement over the last week or so had finally arrived - we were off on the road trip that leads to laughter. And, as opposed to previous years, we had a really good run up indeed reaching our extremely luxurious caravan (really!), G47, at the same time as all those who were sharing with us. That was good timing indeed!

I think Ady knew what he was doing when he popped us up the back of the site this year... we were neighbours with Dave Rimmer, John Weston, Woody, John Mills and Neil Rushton - let the mayhem unravel :D

Actually, we were all very well behaved to be honest but some cracking one-liners cropped us as they usually do :D

With my guests all happy with their accommodation, and with Lindsay and I coming to a mutually happy agreement about who was sleeping on which part of the luxury corner sofa suite, we set about getting ready for the Friday night.

Even with 7 of us sharing a 4 berth caravan the showering arrangements worked a treat and it was amazing that we didn't really get in anyone's way (much!). The beer's were chilling in the fridge and I'd secured a nice bottle of fizzy when buying milk supplies so shared that amongst the guests to get the party started.

On with the glad rags and glitter... we hoofed it the short distance to the venue. There was already a healthy gathering outside the main doors smoking, laughing and socialising. Stepping inside was like coming home. Like a homing pigeon we were standing at the bar ordering our first pint of the night and it wasn't long before I was up dancing amongst the heaving of other dancers swaying like seaweed in the sea of soul.

A bunch of young girls appeared to be on a hen-weekend. One approached me and said in a somewhat questioning tone that someone had stolen her money. I felt insulted as I got the impression it was personally directed at me. Jesus, I'm the one leaving my bag on random tables all night, open, knowing that 'soulies' don't steal peoples belongings yet here was I almost being accused of taking her money. The only retort I gave was "well, I can guarantee it wasn't a soulie, we don't do that". They were that pissed she'd probably 'drank' her financial supply earlier on.

The room was throbbing and there was obviously the task of hugging and kissing those we knew - in a welcoming way (although I feel I should apologise to the one person who felt the slip of my tongue LOL - not sure what came over me!) - in a friendship-forging way.

By around 3am my feet were on fire and I nipped back to the 'van to change into jeans and T-shirt ready to take on the rest of the 'nighter' in comfort. The sound level was banging - absolutely brilliant - so loud it made my entire body throb along with the rest of the room. I danced and danced and danced.

By 6am I was completely wankered. A state of being I knew I had to get used to as it wasn't going to change any over the duration of the weekender. In fact, Wednesday will be the day I start to feel compos mentis :D

A weary stroll back to the van was in order but not before a stop-off at the Cafe for a steaming mug of tea and a chat. Not sure 'chat' amply sums up the conversations that were going on. I'll tell you what, I was talking that much bollocks by the time we'd got to the caravan I was even boring myself!

I tossed and turned on that sofa but could I sleep? NO! I think I drifted in and out of conciousness but by 11am it dawned on me that the afternoon session was almost upon us.

SATURDAY

As I lay there slumbering on the sofa, semi-concious, I heard a male voice ask if he should come on my face amidst a gasp and uncontrolled giggles from the girls... I lay there thinking yeah, that'd be nice, it's been a while. However, I sleepily responded with 'should I sleep with tissues on my face tonight?' We all laughed about this for some time before I fully awoke and sat bolt upright. I know, it sounds wrong on many levels but believe me, it was SO FUNNY!

Again, we all took turns to shower after a sunny congregation on the steps of our abode where more rubbish was being spouted together with laughter at the sight of a tent that had appeared on our lawn outside the front door.

The 'World Soul' was the theme for Saturday afternoon, as it always is and I absolutely adored Marco Codato's set. I've no idea what was played so hopefully a play list will appear sometime soon. A real quirky bunch of records that had me sat there mesmerised and hoping that I'd hear some of those records again some time.

4pm signalled our time for retreat to wash and brush up for yet another nighter although I was a bit miffed at walking out on Yan Vatiste's set - sorry about that. Fuck me, we hadn't yet slept from last night and here we are getting glad rags on to do it all over again! One of my van-guests had a bit of a jelly & ice-cream party with a few of her acquaintances. Even Ty Karim's Daughter Karime Kendra came over. It was very surreal because she knew who I was and excitedly talked about my youtube videos. And there was me, thanking her graciously, dressed only in my bathrobe with a fag in one hand and a beer in the other.

Lindsay and I went over to Mr Rimmer's van and drank tea to escape the party that didn't feel like a party where I felt like a guest in my own home LOL. We had no choice but to return as time was moving on and we needed to get showered and changed.

We had our own party to worry about and it wasn't going down in a caravan! We got to the venue just as the Live Acts were performing - or should I say just finishing. I did get one photo of Melvin though... there were two blokes stood beneath me (I was on a chair) and one of them passed me a drink. No words, just passed me the drink. Of course, I looked at them both with a wry smile that indicated I was thinking "what the fuck!" so he offered an explanation that he was diabetic and couldn't drink all the drinks that were bought for him. The other man chipped in "we've not put rohypnol in it you know" after which they both took a sip before handing it back to me.

I laughed, thanked them, and indicated that Rohypnol wouldn't have been such a disaster :D

Personally, I was more interested in what was going to start upstairs after the live acts finished. AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED!

All the DJ's should feel jubilant because record after record of pure indulgence span on those decks sending me into a very personal place where I found it difficult to keep my head from moving in time with the beat let alone my hands from between my legs (metaphorically speaking!). :-P We stayed up there for a good hour and a half but for me, the biggest thing missing was a dance-floor. Nice to have the smoking balcony though as you could still hear the music whilst feeding our addiction. And with it being so hot it was a welcome reprieve from the sweaty atmosphere inside.

There was a strange ambience in that room. Quiet gratitude was evident by the closed eyes, tapping feet and swaying heads. It was mutual between all of us and very much appreciated even though we couldn't show that appreciation on a dance-floor. I found myself smiling at the queue for the Artist Signing. They were let in one at a time then appeared leaving through another door laden with gifts. It was like a Santa's Grotto experience for fully grown people but sporting that radiant look that children have when they just sat on Santa's knee :D

So, back to the main room for a work-out. I also clocked a bit of eye-candy! Fit body and a very good dancer! Anyway, that's all it was, eye-candy although I was advised his name was Andy. I was there to make musical shapes so there was no time for lengthy attempts to woo someone that was probably taken anyway. Oh, and thank you to the two people that bought me a pint for my website. Very much appreciated.

By the end of the night (or should I say morning) my mouth well and truly resembled a peri-menopausal vagina. DRY! Natures way of screaming HELLO... DRINK SOME BLOODY WATER! So, I did. From around 4am I changed my tipple from pints of larger to bottles of water and again having swapped my cumbersome suit for something more comfortable I continued until 7am whoring the floor to some stunning music courtesy of Keith Money in particular. That bloke is a fucking GOD!

I had a couple of lovely compliments about my dancing over the weekend; that put a smile on my face. I had another one waiting for me when I got home as well - "Hi, Hope you had a good Cleethorpes. You are quite unmissable to watch dancing, you really remind me of an old school friend that dances in the same cool style". And there was me thinking I looked like a sweating baboon LOL.

7am and I was fucked - not literally sadly, but physically. I hadn't eaten yet so it was time for one of those famous Beachcomber chicken burgers. Actually, that may have been earlier in the night. I can't bloody remember now. Anyway, I think I managed 2 hours sleep before people started to arrive back at the caravan. I'd opened the windows to afford some fresh air in the place having almost baked alive the day before. There was a photo of me with legs akimbo with my blanket between them trying to keep cool... it wasn't very pleasant to look at so I've deleted it. The temperature had dipped somewhat but it was still very balmy indeed.

SUNDAY

12 o'clock found Rachel, Karen, Michele and I over at the Carvery pub having lunch. They all had a roast but I couldn't face it. Prawn baguette for me and a pint of larger. Sitting outside in the sunshine reminiscing about the previous nighter's carry-on. I wish Michele hadn't devoured a mountain of vegetables because during the afternoon session she let one off. Fuck me GAS GAS GAS I shouted as I moved away from the table to find breathable air.

I danced more today than I did at the afternoon session yesterday. Probably because I wore a dress yesterday and I didn't feel right. Plus the floor was a bit sticky and I had the wrong shoes on. The Banbury Boys played the best set for me on the Sunday and I was absolutely gutted to miss Ken's set but we just didn't get there in time. I'm sure I heard on of the Banbury lads give me a dedication over the mic and laughed when it was a song with 'Lady' in the title. :D

We faired 'crap' in the soul mastermind even though we had cheated a wee bit and roped in my 'eye-candy'. The only Smith I could come up with was John Smith then laughed knowing that was beer and not a soul singer. By 4pm I was mingin' again. Sweating and full of beer it was time for retreat.

TONIGHT WAS PARTY NIGHT!

John Weston stumbled into our caravan in full fancy dress. I shrieked (wasn't capable of anything other than a squeak being that I'd lost my voice on the Friday night). He looked brilliant! There were some excellent entrants to the Fancy Dress competition. For me the winners should have been the 'Records' but the judges chose someone dressed as a Nun with a sign offering blowjobs for 50p - I'd have had "FREE BLOWJOBS HERE" lol. It was a bit of an insult to the Records who had obviously gone to a lot of time, trouble and thought to get their costumes together.

The dynamics of the main room tonight had completely changed. Everyone seemed up for a laugh and the highlight was seeing Mick H win the DJ musical statues competition. Even when attacked with Party String he kept his cool eventually beating Brian (Melvin Davis' Son) for the top prize of £50 but more importantly the adulation and respect of the crowd. I think that's the first time I've seen Mick dance (H)

I sat at a table near the back of the venue feeling somewhat deflated; nursing one pint of larger the whole time. Unable to lift my legs when attempting short bursts on the dance-floor because someone must have swapped my legs for lead. Therefore, my number was up... back to the van with Karen Crane for some hot Earl Gray, some mischievous chat and a chocolate biscuit before drifting off to sleep around 12am. I knew I had a long drive in the morning with the safety of my passengers close to my heart.

I remember emptying the ashtray into the wrong re-cycling bag and thinking oh well, who gives a fuck - it's CLEETHORPES!!!!

That was it! Another Cleethorpes done and dusted.

Can't wait for next year now :D

The synopsis....

Great weather. Great company. Brilliant music. Laughs a plenty. Abhorrence for the violence Friday night (I hope those responsible do the right thing and apologise fully for their disgusting actions - I don't think they realised how many people were actually affected other than the person that was assaulted!).

Quality time spent with quality mates including Karen Crane, Rachel Doherty, Lindsay O'Hara (who got a surprise Grandchild delivered on Monday evening), Mark Pacan and his Sister Beverley, Mr & Mrs Rimmer, Woody and Lou, John Weston, Johnny Fingers, John Mills, Dave Rivers and umpteen others I encountered and engaged over the weekend that I really can't list as there's far too many.

A lot of usual-suspects missing this year too but the place was still rammed and numbers seemed to be on par with every other year I've been.

Social faux-pas of the weekend goes to Mark - yeah, you do put coffee in the cup as well as coffee-mate. Fingers and I pissed ourselves laughing at that especially when Mark remarked how milky it looked :D

Biggest disappointment, no snogging and no cock! Oh well, can't have it all (although it's evident I don't get even a tiny smidgeon ever these days!)

Many many thanks to Ady Croasdell - you're a star. And a special mention to the girls in the Cafe. Always cheerful where any request by us was delivered with a smile and friendly chat. And although the food is crap, nothing personal, it's made all the more edible with service like that. So thank you girls :D

Right, that's me done because I'm waning... here's my photos in a funky slide-show :D