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19th June, 2012: 6ts Weekender – Cleethorpes 2012
Spat by Soulgirl at 2:21 pm | Comment here!
I’m alive! Either that or the afterlife’s still a place for ‘suffering wrath’.
Lindsay and I set off at lunchtime, heading North as usual. This time North East to the now sacred Beachcomber caravan park. Its 20th Anniversary is testament to its popularity. ‘COME ON CLEGGY’ spurted from my lips in a kind of chant, en-route, through the clogged up roadways of Britain.
Lindsay was driving this year in her lubblyjubbly new vehicle. Its seats were like leather armchairs and I had two free hands which was a novelty 
5 hours later we’d arrived. C5 awaited the fall-out. John & Jen were already installed. Wristbands on, unpacking sorted, the shower called our name in preparation for what the night might throw at us.
Friday night is one where we say we’ll pace ourselves and never do. Mick H was on when we skipped into the venue and the quality of tunes continued throughout the evening.
Butch, Mick H and Soul Sam played blinding sets between 2 & 5 that SO did it for me, followed by Pete Hulat, stepping in for Mick Smith who’d gone AWOL again, with some lovely ballads.
It must have done it for me because my feet told me so come 5.15ish, when us girls decided it was time for some coffee at Le Cafe.
Enjoying a smoke in the morning haze a man decides to take me by surprise and thrust me from behind – at the point when he grabbed my hair and became more animated I began to panic 
Back to the van with the girls, greeted by another of our van sharers Steve in his shorts, we slipped into something more comfortable and laid prostrate musing over memories of what had passed. A few hours sleep were planned before our first afternoon session. Well, that went to pot as Samantha started playing some great music that just keeps you awake (not your Peruvian Pan Pipe CD though!). We all wanted tea but had no milk. John went in search but an hour later Sam pottered out instead. It turns out that John had stumbled into the Nottingham Nutters van and when that happens it’s hard to escape.
Before we knew it, party time had arrived again. Back in the shower then!
No need to tell you I like the afternoons. And this year I had a plan. We were all going to get drunk because when drunk sleep usually comes easy.
I had a good dance by the time my legs had re-awoken and limbered after a few pints. The room slowly filled and we made it until the bitter end. The Spanish lads provided some good records and the all important ‘eye-candy’ 
At this juncture we thought food might be in order. Trying to masticate a bacon roll after 32 hours since my last meal (21 of them being ‘on one’) was more difficult than the 21 hours that had already passed since arriving. What I needed was MILK!
Anyway, no time to hang about – back to the van for another attempt at sleep which was futile. FAIL. I think I managed to drift in and out of consciousness but by no description was it sleep.
Saturday night and I was chomping at the bit. We arrived at the venue for 1am because that’s when ‘upstairs’ was due to start. William Bell was running late so we had to listen to about half an hour of 1mph ballads. Being brave I said to Lindsay that we should poke our heads into the Modern room. Within 30 seconds I was shuddering and gurning. Even Lindsay wasn’t impressed so we backtracked out of there pronto.
I had foolishly raised my expectations of what would be delivered ‘upstairs’ only to be sorely disappointed. The room was almost empty after the queue for William Bell autograph hunters had dissipated.
Butch’s set was a tad indulgent (and I think inebriated) and there were a couple of record ‘knocks’ resulting in that awful scratching sound. Mid-record announcements were also irritating; especially for the person trying to dance at the time. Quite frankly, it was pretty shit 
I was alone dancing a lot of the time too – on occasion I shared the floor with a couple of others. More DJ’s milling behind the decks than punters at the front – it felt divided :(
I’d heard that the 5-records per DJ was going to be repeated but sadly it wasn’t. I was hoping Dyson was on the list but as he’d not been contacted he’d not brought his play-box. 
Cliff Steele played the best set up there (for me) and I enjoyed a jig to many of his funkalicious selections.
By around 4.30 we’d had enough waiting for it to get better and returned downstairs. I’d missed Mick’s spot and felt cheated to be honest. However, I’d arrived in time for Keith Money so that raised my spirits before departure. I think he was battling through on one deck for a time too.
Another Latte in Le Cafe and back through the soggy camp in search of my fleecy pyjamas. Sleep, proper sleep, evaded us all again.
Fuck it; just a few hours later I flicked a flannel about my foo, jumped into a pair of jeans and headed over to the Nottingham Nutters van which was disturbingly quiet (they’d been hardcore partying from the start for Wendy’s 50th) before venturing back to the venue for the Sunday afternoon session in time to hear the Banbury Boys do their stuff – the Stylistics track was especially fab and the whole set was diverse but not to the point of being indulgent. Eddie Hubbard, you were very much missed though. I LOVE SUNDAYS!!!!
I got a wee bit tipsy (which was our plan anyway {see above} in the hope of falling asleep in a drunken heap), danced my legs and feet numb and enjoyed conversations of funk, porn, menopause and drugs all in the same smoke break! I even got thrust from behind again by another male; Déjà vu! We weren’t going to enter the competition this year even though Rimmer said we’d win a prize for coming last again. We stood out the front chit chatting instead. Soul Sam was on in the Modern room and we could hear it. He played a couple of funky tracks that saw me skid in there both times to have a jig. It was an oddity- no-one else was dancing and I felt a bit like a circus act as they all sat there nonplussed
Joel made me laugh recounting the moment he walked in on his mate earlier who appeared to be flustered having been caught in the act of masturbation. Good on him for having the energy! But the descriptive terms used for removing a bed sheet like a large stiff pane of glass made me proper laugh.
The DJ from Spain who did a spot in the afternoon came and said hello. I asked where in Spain he was from and he said Madrid in the way a Spanish person would say it… you know, rolling R’s and a TH sound… PHWOAR! Sexy or what! This found me squeezing my thighs together briefly before departure.
Another Latte and bacon roll were called for. A Muggle was in the cafe – a real fucking fuggly one at that. She still had shaving foam around her ears! Later to be found wandering around the camp knocking on numerous van doors apparently lost. Keith Woon fell foul of her knocking and was seen to disappear inside locking all entry points 
I tossed about on the sofa trying to induce z’s in my Gospel Bob teeshirt and announced I was taking to Sam’s bed to try to sleep there where it was quieter. Nope – she popped on these two records that immediately brought me back to a roused state even though we’d only just heard them in the venue so back to the sofa to talk more nonsense. Sam even reminded me that some bloke asked if I’d like to ‘work’ for him! Missed opportunity because I don’t remember that at all. 
It was 10pm before we knew it. I looked at Lindsay and she looked at me. We were spent. 2 nighters and two ‘full on’ afternoon sessions had done it’s worst. I was cunted. We clocked Lou and John on their way to the venue in their fancy dress – Zippy and George. However, I finally fell asleep half way through the Shawshank Redemption. If I’d gone over on the Sunday night I would have just swayed on the spot like a lone sheaf of weather beaten wheat.
My pre-cleg announcement of hopes for a gang-bang failed with more time spent on the dance floor than looking for potential gang-bangers. I’m all hot air and my innocence remains intact. Besides, the stiffest thing through the whole weekend was my big toe no doubt
Thanks Ady Croasdell – top dollar as always. 
And special thanks to my van sharers – it all gelled very nicely indeed.
En-route Latte
Mandy's first on the floor
Mick & Chalky
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Linds & Birthday Girl Weno
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Jan Me and Mike
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Me & Frenchie
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Dance comp winners
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Hoss nuzzling Karens boobies
Nuzzling Karen's boobies
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Me and Lins.
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
6ts Weekender - Cleethorpes 2012
Don't remember this!
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Hi Soul Girl,
just seen the two records mentioned and i played the Joytones during my sunday afternoon session.
Hope you liked it , nice to chill out !
I’d not heard it out for a while and it was lovely to float around to :)