29th March, 2012: Ere We Go, Ere We Go, Ere We Go …

Spat by Soulgirl at 11:36 pm | Comment here! Comments (7)

Jesus fucking Christ. Are the populous not acknowledging the need of the soul-scene? I mean, the people panic-buying fuel to ensure their 1 mile jaunts to the supermarket isn’t upset. Don’t you consider, for one split second, the people that NEED to embark on journeys around the UK to feed an inexplicable need to feed their bodies and mind with soul?

What’s the matter with you? Walk to the shops. Walk your children to school. WALK!

I cannot walk 300 miles to an allnighter but you can walk 1, 2 or 3 miles to your destination.

What fucks me off is the obvious ‘top of the pyramid’ attempt to divert our attentions away from the inexplicable ‘fuck us up the arse’ budget, tight on the tail of previous Governments ‘up our arse and out of our mouths’ historical leadership. I think, quite honestly, I could cough and give our leaders a wank at the same time.

Don’t you think it’s crap when we’re delivered bad news only to have some kind of remarkable ‘cover up, forget about it’ controversy some days later?

Most people will be swept up in the belligerent mind altering psychological thought warp; why not, it’s human nature. There are those though, like me, that see it for what it is. And it’s this. Fucking crap! People need to start thinking for themselves and believe and preach what they think. Until then, you’re nothing but lemmings.

I will make no difference for I am just one. We shall all die being just one, including those most powerful. What a sad, lonely, sick game this is.

End note. Live for today, hide your money well, spend it on yourself, and enjoy your life as much as you can. We’re here for what really is just a ‘fart’ in time after all. Why pledge your hard work and effort for those that are only interested in fucking you up the arse?

29th March, 2012: Gettin’ My Soul On!

Spat by Soulgirl at 9:47 pm | Comment here! Comment (0)

This weekend sees me and my besty, Lindsay, flying up North in the Golden Bullet to Skegvegas! The land of ‘Cockacinno’s’ and the best music in the whole wide world. Not Modern! For me anyway…

I shall be wafting my fat middle finger around with gay abandon. Yes! This evening, whilst painting my nails and waving my hands around to aid the drying process, I felt what I can only describe as an ‘obese’ wobble from the middle finger of my right hand!

I’ve been given pertinent medical advice on how to deal with this predicament which wasn’t advice I’d cast aside I must say.

However, I was then ceremoniously and instantly crushed when I got my magnified mirror out to attend to my eyebrows where I witnessed the middle-aged jowls from hell. Fucking hell!

So, don’t look, point nor laugh at my jaw-line. Let’s peddle some soulful fun!

See you all there!

25th March, 2012: JONATHAN ANTOINE!

Spat by Soulgirl at 5:13 pm | Comment here! Comments (2)

When I first saw him I experienced my usual ‘fatist’ shallowness. Half way through his ‘blurb’ I blubbed. I felt disgusted with myself for judging him so quickly before he’d uttered even one word. By the time he’d said “each time they took a little piece of me” I was quite emotional and angry at myself.

Jonathan, I wish you all the luck in the whole wide world. You have an amazing vocal that moved me and the entire Nation it seems. If the worlds most shy and bullied harbour a passion like yours then we’re saved.

23rd March, 2012: A Need To Expede My Bleed

Spat by Soulgirl at 11:49 pm | Comment here! Comments (2)

The latest Coalition Government have now delivered their Budget… and how fucking shit was it?

Less tax for the rich and more tax for the retired, crazy and I mean CRAZY petrol prices not to mention driving business’ out of business. What fucking planet are our so called spokespeople on? It’s boasted that we’re living in a democratic country. I call BULLSHIT! There’s nothing democratic about this country other than our ability to vote in the next Clown Council. Each and every Party that is ever voted in are crap and in it for themselves and their mates.

Why can’t we be governed by ‘real’ people living in the ‘real’ world? Not a bunch of toffee nosed bureaucratic public schooled twats who bend things their way for their own good and the good of their rich mates. People who’ve never had to buy cheap processed food yet proclaim on Breakfast TV that they’re earning less than the 45% rich man’s tax threshold and dress their children every morning before taking them to school. Tell that to a family that can’t find work and have to eat shit every day.

How patronising! They must think and hope that the majority of this country is fucking thick. Perhaps that’s true!!! If their true wage is 24 grand a year, or what ever ridiculously low wage they confess to, it’s bullshit. The money they’re creaming off and stashing in overseas bank accounts is none of our business. They’re liars, cheats and fake!

Not only have the fleeced us financially they’ve now decided to reform our NHS system beyond recognition. We were the envy of the whole world. Hell, people took ‘medical holidays’ here because we were so good. They still do because they get better treatment than those that fucking live here. What now? Probably the American way where we’ll all have to have insurance or die in pain… ok, more pain than we do now unless we’re in the right fucking post code area.

Lastly the flimsy alcohol pledge of charging 40p per unit to reduce the number of drunks… hahahaha.. like that’ll work! It’s obviously a ploy to extract MORE tax based on a higher retail price. We’re on to you you money sucking fucking wankers.

Grrrr… BULLSHIT!

This country needs to get back to caring about people and not about making as much money as they can. In fact, the whole world needs to adopt this and we’ll be more of a community than a mutiny.

Stop the round-a-bout; I want to get off.

PS: If you don’t like my political musings you know what you can do Toad.

18th March, 2012: Bidds 6th Anniversary

Spat by Soulgirl at 12:34 pm | Comment here! Comment (0)

After two and one quarter hours I arrived at Bidds raring to go. That was record time! Greeted by the ever lovely Linda I skipped inside scanning the room for victims to stand with and speak to. Well, I’d driven up alone so had to latch on to someone. Easy peasy

As it was Tony Foster’s 50th Birthday he’d laid on a buffet; Roger Banks paid several visits! I’m sure he filled up his pockets with vol-au-vent’s and pickled onions

Out of character I spent most of the night talking; I’d say 50% of the records moved me enough to skid on to the dance floor and shake my toosh. Mr Beggs played two wonderful tracks which of course, as usual, I cannot remember but keep your ears peeled as he’ll be playing them a wee bit as they’re new to him and the rest of us.

I’d made an effort and donned my favourite suit that I’ve not worn for quite a while, together with my Swarovski Crystal brassier. If you see a photo of a glittery cleavage around the internet that’s down to a perv taking a covert shot on his phone! Still, my boobies appreciated all the attention they received. Aren’t they powerful tools!

Musically the night was more varied than it’s been for aaages! Truly something from every genre and the floor was busy right through the night right up to when Ted Couldstone played the last record. The guests, Toppers and Danny, delivered 4 fab sets between them and our 12 Inch Willy also presented two great sets. Ted Massey did what Ted Massey does and kept the floor happy. Together with the 3 residents, Mace, Beggsy & Des, there were enough ‘never heard that before’ records to keep me happy that’s for sure.

It was a pleasure to meet Richard (Empty Bottles) and his very pretty Lady, Georgina (I think that was her name!). I also made the acquaintance of a girl called Gail. When she introduced herself I apologised in advance that I would probably forget her name. Anyway, the bloke next to her let out a rip-roaring fart and said ‘there’s a gale’

Of course, with such a ‘memory marker’ I’ll not forget her name ever again hahahaha.

The dance floor was perfect. Ant had done us proud with his DIY and it was a pleasure to dance on.

Mr Massey was noticeably svelte! Looking good fella :)

There was also a marked female minority. It was like I was in a Boys Club. Not that I mind, being a bit of a Tom Boy, but all they do is talk about records

Luckily I had the gorgeous Jen & Ingrid to be girly with so all was not lost. Samantha turned up at around 3.30am and as our paths haven’t crossed for a while it was lovely to see her again. By the time I’d swapped beer for water I took a big gulp and found myself thinking childish thoughts so skipped past Mace and pushed both my fingers in my cheeks and let him have it full blast – that was the only naughty thing I did all night. Sorry! I couldn’t help myself

Mind you, what goes around comes around and later on as I was stood behind the records having a natter with the lads, I hoicked myself up onto the ledge at the back and before I knew it I’d gone down into the pebble-filled well behind with my legs akimbo and up in the air like a right twat

So, with conversations about 15 inch cocks, sexless marriages, hairy and hairless men, Bidds was as it always is… fun and frolicky.

After a Latte and a natter with the Lads at Stafford Services I plodded home alone. It snowed! Filthy weather which I don’t like after being up all night.

Once again, thank you Mace and everyone else at Bidds; I had a blast. Now to commence Operation Re-hydration…